Pamola & Paparazzi Joe

A Flash Fiction Friday Story

Feb 16, 2025

Photo by Paparazzi Joe (Note, see below*)

Gibberish - Flash Fiction Friday

Assignment: A campfire story about a character who wants to remain hidden, with chaotic annotations, including the phase “Where did you find it?”

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4 months ago · 21 likes · 3 comments · Scoot

Pamola & Paparazzi Joe

We were sitting around the campfire, my grandkids and me, and they were pestering me for a story. Looking around carefully to make sure their parents weren't around, I asked, “Would you like to hear a story about MY Grandaddy?” And with their enthusiastic assent, I told the tale of Granddad Pamola’s moment of fame on the Interwebs…

(Note: The grandkids are always up for a story about their Great Granddad. What’s not to love? He's the ancient Abenaki god of thunder, who lives in a cave on Mount Katahdin, in Maine. He's got the wings and claws and beak of an eagle and a head like a moose. He also has a head for mischief and a tendency towards disaster, which is sort of how he got into trouble in this tall tale.)

When Mr. Loomis, a Park Ranger from Maine, telephoned me about the freaked out hikers, I should have been surprised, but I wasn't. After a few decades of peace and quiet, it seemed that Granddad was raising hell again, and Ranger Loomis was at his wit's end, and hoped I might be able to help. (Note: I'm 92 and my Granddad is still alive, which might give you a clue to the fact that he's an immortal.)

I wasn't too surprised that Granddad was chasing tourists away from his summer home. (Note: Granddad likes living on Mount Katahdin, but he's never told me where else he wanders off to. I reckon he considers me too young for such tales.) He was always inclined to remain hidden, only showing himself when he needed or wanted to do something important... or was hungry, though I'd managed to convince him to lay off eating the tourists, no matter how pesky they might be. (Note: Granddad used to really appreciate the crunch of a well done tourist. Why? I couldn't tell you, I'm a vegetarian myself.)

Anyway, like I said, Ranger Loomis was getting mightily freaked out. "Earlier in the summer, we suddenly started getting a rush of visitors, more than I'd ever seen. A lot of them said they were those influencer people, you know, like the ones on Tiktok?" Ranger Loomis was befuddled by the modern on-line life. He had no time for it, himself. He went on to explain, "Then, about July, people started rushing back down Mount Katahdin in swarms, yelling and screaming about thunder in the caverns. That's when I realized Pamola was getting up to his old tricks. At least he ain't 'et anybody... yet."

"I'll go talk to him," I promised, and trudged up to Granddad's favorite cave. "Hey, Granddad," I hollered.

At first there was silence, quickly followed by the loudest, most deafening thunderous claptrap you can imagine. Granddad is the Abenacki god of thunder, so he's good with weather. I let him clamor on for a while, but finally interrupted, "GRANDDAD CUT IT OUT, WE NEED TO TALK!" (Note: I might *look* all human, but I at least inherited a mighty strong pair of lungs.)

Granddad came out, sheepishly asking, "What?"

"You know what, you old villain, Ranger Loomis is fit to be tied. What in tarnation have you been up to?"

Granddad snarled, "There's been too dang many tourists coming up here, trying to find me. Ever since that Joe guy visited."

"Joe guy? What Joe guy?" Suddenly I remembered what Ranger Loomis had said about the 'influencer people.' "Granddad, did this Joe guy take your picture, by any chance?"

"Yeah," Granddad frowned. "He seemed nice enough and said that he could get me lots of followers. You know how much we gods like followers. But all these humans that have been swarming up here, they ain't good worshippers, they don't know nothing about me, they have no respect." (Note: Granddad's not interested in the internet, he's real old school about ‘followers.’)

"Huh. I think I might know what's up." I sat down on a rock and pulled out my cellphone. I typed 'Pamola' into Google and scrolled through all the legends and myths, pictures of statues, drawings, and depictions of Granddad by his people, the Abenacki. (Note: There is even a crochet pattern for making toy Pamolas! Check them out here.) I'd gone through this search many times, of course, so all of it was familiar to me. Everything except for one thing. A photograph - an actual photograph- of my Granddad, posing big as life next to a signpost bearing his name.

I showed if to Granddad. "Where did you find it," he wondered. (Note: Like I said, Granddad's not big on technology.)

"It's the picture Joe took of you. He posted it on his website, 'Paparazzi Joe.' It says here he posts photographs of the most elusive celebrities. I guess you can't celebritate more than an ancient Native American god," I scoffed.

Granddad still didn't get it. "Look at all these followers," he cried, "They're mine!"

"Nope, they're his," I explained. "Joe tricked you. He's using your picture to make money. Those followers are HIS, paying him to see pictures of people who don't want their pictures taken. He's using your photo to get them to pay up to see more."

"Humph," Granddad snorted. "He didn't tell me that. How we going to fix this? Can I go track him down and eat him?" (Note: Granddad's go-to solution to problem people is eating them.)

"No, no, you can't do that. If you eat him, it will just kick up too much excitement, and then you’ll never be left alone. But I have an idea..."

And it worked. I tracked down Joe. Then all I had to do was tell him that he was going to tell the whole world that the photograph was a fake, something that he'd just kludged together from pictures of mooses and eagles and such with Photoshop. Of course he objected to the fact that his followers would unsubscribe if they thought he was posting hoax pix, but when I pointed out that that was better than being eaten up by an ancient god, he saw reason.

So now all is well. People are hiking the trails around Mount Katahdin again, without the annoyance of having to deal with influencer people and without the fear of thunderstorms brewing INSIDE the mountain. Ranger Loomis is happy again. And Granddad can once more relax in peace and quiet in his favorite summer spot... and what's more, since Paparazzi Joe took down his web site, all of those famous folk he'd posted pictures of can relax a little more, too.

*Actually, photoshopped by Jeannine. Original sources: